


Iridescent Forever (Kaylor)

by freyja1303



Category: Karlie Kloss (Model), Real Person Fiction, Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: F/F, Secret Relationship, Universe Adjacent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:54:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22342924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freyja1303/pseuds/freyja1303
Summary: I want to write something slow burn at the same time introspective to gaylor swift. Not just focusing on one ship but it's all about the process of understanding love and her songs but mainly also Kaylor. lolDisclaimer: This is a work of fiction and fuelled by my imagination, I don't have any connection to them but I like to imagine and get intrigued over the behind the public persona of TSwift.Hope all of you like it!Let me know what you think about this and spare me if I don't update regularly because I tend to spend writing for so long because I keep on editing stuff. That's just how I process. Sorry!
Relationships: Karlie Kloss/Taylor Swift
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Prologue

Prologue

March 2nd 2024

_For the past few years, you’ve been trying to summed it all up, and you feel like you get to the point wherein you can finally make sense of everything that had happened. Now you feel much freer as you write this down as a closing reminder not just for you but to the readers that life has a funny way of ironically tying things back together or maybe it’s about gluing everything in an imperfect perfect mosaic of moments that define who you are._

_This is a blend of all pragmatic and emotional decisions that led you to every pain, happiness, heartbreak, struggle and acceptance that certain decisions that will fruitfully bore the scenarios that you have right now. It’s all the colourful mixture of good and bad feelings that makes up a person that continues to ripple to the people closes to you which makes this journey much more introspective in how you view your own growth. That led to an understanding that as you waddle in this cold stark universe, one infinitesimal subject started a journey for you to take on until it slowly made sense to you. It paralleled you grasping for understanding something abstract at a young age thus leading you to weave words and turned it into melody as you were growing up. It’s just one thing, and it’s boils down about understanding love and how you feel indifferent about it for years until that perfect person will come to show you what it all truly meant._

_This last page is a message to you, and everyone else. That even you fell down to the deepest and murkiest time of your life, you’ll find that strength to start over again through embracing yourself fully and letting the right people influence you._


	2. ONE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sucks at tagging.

October 11, 2013

Taylor just skipped to turned the stove off for the risotto and now she is busy peeling the ingredients for her seafood curry that she’s gonna serve for dinner when her telephone rang. She went to the sink and dried her hands before answering and learning it was her security who informed her that her best friend since high school is on her way up to her unit. 

This is the first time that they will see each other after kicking off the RED tour and spending time in LA for working with her next album while appearing at different events and she finally catch a really short break before doing promos, attending events and another continent tour. Which is the reason this night is important to her to just talk about her messy life, her tour life, Abigail’s, her parents, and their friends. This is the kind of normalcy she’s trying to achieve once in while that it brought smile to her. 

Her doorbell rang that she easily manoeuvre around the kitchen to go to the door, once she opened it, she’s greeted with an enthusiastic smile and giggles before engulfing her with a tight hug.

“O My God! It’s been so long, glad that you’re back!” Abigail squealed while letting go of Taylor.

“Yes, me too, Abi! Wait! let’s go back to the kitchen, i’m not yet finish cooking our dinner and catch up. You grab some red in the wine rack while we do this because I’m telling you. I have a lot to unpack.” Taylor explained while they walked back towards the kitchen and Abigail agreed while nodding.

Once they are back in the kitchen Abigail went to the wine rack and grab glasses for the two of them, before settling down in the counter and watched Taylor. 

“So what’s new?” Abigail asked while she poured them both a glass of red wine, still eyeing her best friend and can’t believe how different their lives now. Taylor washing her hands and going back to preparing their dinner.

“Uhm, Are you in for risotto and curry?” she ignored the question and Abigail nodded, who looks like more interested on their much awaited catch up. “Okay.” 

“Taaaay! Spill.” Abigail propped her elbows on the kitchen island and her chin, looking at Taylor with expectations.

“Oh, boy. Here it goes… remember when we both decided to attend the fun concert?” Taylor stopped stirring the pot and looked over Abigail and her best friend nodded. “Well, she seems like she moved on and aloof that I hated myself that night and why do I even went to that stupid concert. Also I ended up drunk with Ed and pretty sure I was a bitch spilling my guts out with him about the shitty circumstance that I end up with.” she can’t help but grimaced remembering the blackout night. She remembered that before going to the concert she relied on several shots of liquid courage just to face Dianna but after the concert they separated their ways and she ended up calling Ed to drink away her sorrows.

“Do you still love her?” Abigail asked, she looked curiously over Taylor who suddenly stop putting the veggies on the pot before clearing her throat.

“Honestly, I don’t know if I feel bad about saying no to her, and at the same time wanting her and now, I just feel like she’s been an important part of my life. Also I remember Ed’s advice about the whole ordeal.” She continued to cook while letting out heavy sighs. “He asked me point blank about what you just asked and I told him the same thing I told you and he told me, maybe the things I felt that night was a mixture of guilt and anger, guilt and anger towards myself, towards Dianna, towards all the shitty things we pulled with each other and I feel like he is correct but at the same time I feel like I’m craving it back? But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t as heartbreaking as before. It’s like I’ve been so used with the pain that I feel so numb. God, why do I fall for people who are too much to handle.” 

“Ed’s not wrong, Tay. I feel like the love expired months ago but you continued to go back with her because you are attracted to that kind of energy. Hello, how many years did you and Jules get back together and breaking it up until settling with sometime lovers and what’s that small pact you did last 2010?” Abigail voice were strained that she grab her glass to drink while Taylor put the lid back to the pot and went and drink the wine that Abigail poured in the kitchen island.

“He told me to re-evaluate what I really feel about Di, which is the reason I’m just pouring every emotion back to paper you know. Then let myself breathe if I really want to pursue it or completely let it go because he is right, sometimes love should be enduring and true. Looking back and just seeing it in a different sense, Di and I completely played around our emotions, played mind games and it was exciting but god every time it’s just blows out in our faces. Remember the time she got so petty over the stunt that Paula made me do with Harry?”

“I remember Tay, which is why I told you not to get too invested, right? You know it’s so funny that when we were younger I’m the one who usually end up recklessly going gaga crying over a boy but now, you still keep it together but you went through so much.” 

“I know, I thought Jules will be the last one who’s gonna ruined me like this then Emily but I guess, fame and being a closeted gay woman isn’t gonna work well with me. Most of the time I just want to give up about this love and just guard my heart so that I won’t go through this. I feel like I constantly relived my middle school days and also don’t get mad. I saw Jules when I was in Boston.” she narrate pointblank while she looked through Abigail while drinking wine, the red head with shocked expression.

“You did what?” she just nodded while chewing on her bottom lip before putting down the glass and grabbing the wine bottle and pouring them both. “What happened? I feel like this dinner isn’t enough from everything that’s going on.”

“She went to the concert in the last night and then she called me, we went out. It wasn’t a date but mostly a catch up and I’m with Caitlin, Jack, and Ed. Like I said to you in the phone, I’m not gearing up for any relationship right now. I’m still putting myself back together.” 

“Oh, thank god! I thought I need to be much more drunker if ever you two hooked up again. I don’t know how much drama this will entail again, you two are one of my closest friends I made and you two need to stop giving me heart attack because I can’t be choosing sides again with this.” Taylor smiled lamely over Abigail’s overreaction before turning her back to turn the stove off and start preparing the plates, Abigail stood up and help her by being in charge of the risotto. She felt bad knowing that she still cause a rift between the two due to their push and pull relationship from years ago.

“Uhm, She brought someone, and I feel like this time she got it right.” she said wistfully while putting enough curry in the serving plate before walking towards the dinning.

“Yeah, I saw the photos on her instagram. That’s why I reacted violently.” Abigail trailed her with the risotto in hand.

“Uhm, We’re okay, I guess she’s pretty okay, she reached out first. I’m also happy for her, also before I forgot. I’m performing in the incoming Victoria Secret Fashion Show this November. Lily called me last month asking if I’m here in Nashville and she wanted to hangout with Dixie and I then when I told her no she asked if I’m super busy this November and I told her not until the latter part of November when touring starts again.”

“How do you feel about it? I mean I heard Caitlin you really like models and that’s the reason why you really like watching the runway shows every fashion week.” Abigail laughed while she put the food down, Taylor laughed while she went back to get individual plates for them and the utensils. 

“uhm,” she blushed as she remembered a memory of last May wherein she met Lily and some of her model friends in New York for an event. “I might have a crush or two, I’m not gonna be a hypocrite and tell you lies that I am not slightly intrigued by them.” she laughed as she put down the plate were Abigail put the place mats. 

“Well, maybe those pessimistic view you have right now about romance might change.” Abigail comments while they start to dig in the food in front of them. 

Taylor gulped when she heard Abigail and suddenly her full back stiffen and she looked down on her empty plate before her forehead scrunched. “I doubt it, but I’m trying to be open for anything. I’m gonna hang out with Lily when I get back to LA, she called me about it that she has a shoot and wanted to meet up.”

“Didn’t you have a huge crush on, ugh. I forgot the name, Caitlin told me you were literally drooling about this girl…” Abigail looked deeply in thought trying to remember the name and Taylor is pretty sure she knew who her best friend is trying to tell her because she remembered last year she attended a fashion show with Caitlin and she slips out one name that seems to follow her around ever since she saw the girl as a cover in teen vogue and entertainment people reminding her that they’ll jibe well with each other.

She decided that she’s not gonna let her best friend suffer trying to remember the name so when she finished chewing the food then spoke the truth out of her mind. “Karlie Kloss” Taylor grab the wine glass as she uttered those two words and Abigail’s face lit up with mischievous smile. 

“Yes! the leggy model, isn’t she an angel too?” Abigail asked her while the question is insinuating something more she can’t really figure out.

“Yep” she quipped while continue eating her meal.

“Come on, Tay! I feel like there’s so much more behind it. You are giving me short ended answers which you does when you are hiding something.” Abigail grimaced which earned a laugh from her. “You know I won’t share anything with you if you continue being cryptic about supermodel Karlie Kloss.”

“Ugh. Okay, maybe I do like her and I just can’t. She’s taken. Off the table so can we moved on, which reminds me I need my phone to text and see if Mere is okay.” she said dismissively while she pulled her phone and she saw Abigail eyeing her, she shrugged with a tight lipped before opening the message app. 

“Okay, you’re just being weird about her so I feel like I need to press. Until when are you staying? What’s your schedule, I know you will returned to touring by late November, right?” she put her phone down and Taylor felt bad about what Abigail said.

“Sorry, Abi. I’ll be busy with NCAI and also the school and interviews also meeting with Scott but i need to go back to LA. I’m still recording and writing new pieces for the next album. Anyways, I might really like her, we’ve talked in, in the Met and she’s just extremely attractive, very intelligent and great humour too. So I just don’t like those combinations right now because I’m busy with the tour and I don’t want to complicate my feelings, especially with the Dianna mess that I’m still trying to shake off.” 

And when she articulate those feelings Abigail stopped bugging her about the tall model and they ended up catching up about her plans and music decisions and even voicing her sternest over an argument she had with her father. 

It was pretty late when Abigail leave her home that she asked her security to drop Abigail off to her home while she went to her room and start preparing to go to bed. Her weekend will be entirely full of commitments but as she laid on her bed, she can’t help but think about past relationships will be a lot different if her stardom didn’t skyrocketed, and she still remember the woods. 

The struggle that most of her relationship suffers were the time apart and the incessant issues that seems to stick with her and also the unavoidable jealousy over the men her management continue to push for her heterosexual image that mostly end up with petty fights. Which reminds her about the long detailed email she sent to her publicist and manager about the excessive bearding that she’s been thrust into. She’s also in the verge of firing her publicist from all the bad decisions that had happened this past few years. She really doesn’t want the backlash that she’s been receiving for these past few months and how it’s starting to take toll on her aside from the break up. Everything feels too much for her right now that she knew she meant everything she said to Abigail about entertaining romance in her life at this point of her life. She’s perfectly okay with the pessimism that have been eating her from the inside. She strongly put her foot down this past few months that she doesn’t want to continue with the faux romance and now these swirling issues with Harry is bringing tears of frustration out of her.

Taylor doze off with those swirling thoughts plaguing her mind.


	3. TWO

**October 28, 2013**

She’s been back in Los Angeles for more than two weeks and busy making a quick breakfast while also watching Meredith finished her own food when her phone beep. She quickly grab it in the kitchen island while holding a spatula in the other hand.

Lily A (6:31): Good Morning Tay, I just got off from the plane and we’re just driving through In N out. I’ll drop by at your place later for lunch, I’ll also bring Dixie! Miss you and buzzing in to remind you. 😘

She quickly fired back an answer that she didn’t forget and that lunch will be ready when they stopped by.

***

Taylor is busy working with a new song with her guitar while annoying Meredith using her foot in the cozy nook of her kitchen where she ended up chilling after cooking and setting the food to warm for Lily and Dixie’s visit in a while.

She’s in the middle of recording in her phone a rough draft of something she wants to add for her newest album when her doorbell rang that she put aside the guitar in the side while Meredith tried to scratch her that made her laugh while she jogged towards her main entrance. She saw Lily carrying Dixie on her arms, she waved at them as she turned the door knob.

“Tay!” Lily kissed her cheek and hug her with one arm because the older girl is carrying Dixie on her arms.

“Aw! How’s the lil’ bean?” Taylor cooed as the toddler hide her face on Lily’s neck.

“She’s having a tantrum in the car, she doesn’t want to wear the shoes.” Lily laugh as they walk back towards the living room, Taylor hums while she try to get the attention of the toddler by making silly faces and when the toddler grew more curious her mood started to change and begun staring cooly towards the singer.

“You wanna go with auntie Tay? I have bribes.” Taylor laugh while she asked the toddler while stretching her arms towards Dixie. The girl just grab her other hands and just played with it.

“Look at you, are you a baby whisperer?” Lily asked while laughing.

“I wish. You guys, want to eat already?” Taylor asked but Lily shake her head to say no.

“Later, I’m still pretty stuffed from the amount of food we consumed this morning. Also I’m waiting for this munchkin to fall asleep because she’s been playing all morning from the flight.”

“Oh, you were in Nashville?” Taylor asked.

“Nope, I was in New York for a shoot, Then Caleb and I both ended up with commitments here in LA.” Lily is seated on the couch when Taylor still playing with silly faces. Intermittently paying both Lily and Dixie attention. “So anything new?” Lily asked while she combed Dixie’s hair with her hand.

“Hmmm… aside from just working through my next album and getting much rest before I return to touring, not much. Also the constant meetings but that’s nothing new. I’m pretty much just exercising, watching re-runs, reading books and having catch up with friends. Just like today and ow, also just chatting up with mom for hours. How about you, supermodel slash supermom slash super wife?”

Lily laugh over Taylor’s wording. “Okay, that’s sweet of you, Tay!”

“No, really, I mean I see what you post from time to time and I’m like, How does she do it?” The singer looked bewildered.

“Okay, superstar! I’m just glad that I’m able to be present you know, it’s hard with our lifestyle but this is everything. Family.” Lily shined while saying those words and Taylor can’t help but agree. “So, how do you feel about performing with us Angels this coming November?”

“I’m excited and a bit scared seeing gorgeous ladies.” Lily rolled her eyes before laughing. “You know from what I remember when you agreed it’s like an instant yes then now your saying you’re scared?”

“Well, uhm, when you texted then called I’m like hell yeah, why not!” Taylor let an awkward laughed. “Then suddenly it dawn on me that I’ll be on stage with dozens of supermodels clad with lingeries and I feel like I’m fucked.” This earned a playful smack on the arm from Lily, which made Taylor laughed too, she’s pretty comfortable now to talk about liking women unlike years ago and Lily knew her way before Caleb and her were dating that earned her the right to know about one of her biggest secret in life. “That’s the truth, that’s how the whole process went down then my team informed me about the invitation after several hours and I’m like, shit it’s real. I should start working out too.”

“You’re in great shape, girl!” Lily said with a smile.

“Thank you! I try”

“Okay, I’m so excited for you to perform also to meet the girls. They will love you and also I think you knew some of them because I introduced you to some of them, right?” Lily said excitedly, Taylor agreed by nodding.

“Anyone you are interested within the angels?” Lily waggles her eyebrows, Taylor trying to masked her reaction with feign anger.

“Why is everyone kept asking me if someone interest me?” Lily raised her brow then Taylor sighed. “I’m not in the proper head space to date, Lils. This is better for me, being alone you know.”

“Even for just fun?” Lily smirked Taylor shake her head. “Come on Tay, why do you keep denying yourself of a good time, also how old are you? I know it’s been months and I knew what you went through with Dianna is really really bad but I also want you to know that it’s okay. You fall once, you stand up again.”

“I know, I just want to focus on myself as of now but yeah, I should really do something more fun than work and write. Maybe I should also look for a fresh start.” Taylor become somber knowing how she’s been functioning for the past few months. It’s like she’s just been in autopilot after the break up, that the only thing that make sense to her again is music.

“Okay, we’ll change that! You fly to New York earlier and we’re gonna have fun. Also I really think you need to re-decorate. Your house still reeks of Dianna, no offence, babe.” suddenly Taylor looked up at the ceiling in how real the latter words Lily uttered, she felt her eyes brim with tears.

“Ugh! You are so right? I’m trying to change some things, and then sometimes I end up just driving around her street that’s the reason why I holed up for several weeks in Nashville and why I am driving myself to touring. I feel insane being like this because I knew it’s over but one side of my brain is still trying to say to me that maybe we could try again.” Taylor grunts.

“Hey, I know. I know but you know what? At least you are opening now. How many months have we been pestering you about talking about it. It’s a big step and I think you really are in the healing process so when you go to New York. After rehearsals, we’re gonna have so much fun. Okay?” Taylor stared at Lily before nodding, feeling thankful in finding the right friends to confide with. She have a hard time talking about this things that she can only confide to several people, excluding her family. She only talks about this with Selena, Brit, Abigail, Lily and Ed.

“Thank you, Lily. You know you are one of the most insightful friend that I can confide with.” she said with a meek smile. “Sometimes I feel like this house is an empty shell of something very relevant but at the same time I feel like I’m being boxed alive. I redesigned my bedroom and I still feel like Dianna’s presence is still there that I constantly end up sleeping in the guest room.”

“Taaaaylor! Why do you keep on bottling those things for months.” Taylor smiled at Lily sadly.

“I have a late reaction for things, Lils, uh, normally I try to process it with myself or write it down. I usually talk to my mom too. But when it comes to my relationship, especially involving the whole story, i try to keep it to myself before telling her the whole thing.” As honest and close she is with her mom, there’s a lot of things she tries to keep from her mom, involving Dianna because as cool as she is regarding her dating women, there’s something about Dianna that rubs her mom the wrong way so she initially ended up sharing all the good things.

“I’m just glad that you are doing a lot better, that you can really talk about her without sounding so bitter or dark.” Lily smiled softly and Taylor realized as they talk about her broken relationship that yeah, she’s doing so much better now. She doesn’t feel the excruciating pain that usually came whenever people brought up Dianna.

“Umm, like it’s a process.” she smiled at the realness of those words. The thing that made her understand herself more right now. She’s always been a person who drive herself to think and to be as insightful over everything but at the same time she knew how reckless she can be when it comes to pursuing her heart’s desire. That’s how she got into music, just following it head on but it’s not the same when it comes to romance.

***

They pretty much started with catching up with what’s going on with each other that they didn’t notice how time slipped past that the toddler started to get cranky again because she’s getting hungry. When Dixie was fed, the child instantly fell asleep after and they put her in the pack n play that Lily brought with her.

Once Lily set up the baby monitor she followed Taylor and found the singer busy with setting up the table.

“Is she cozy in the living room?” Tay asked the model while she set the final plate in the table and signal Lily to take her seat.

“Yes Tay, Thanks for this lunch.”

They were in the middle of their lunch when Lily suddenly remember something to ask Taylor. “Tay, I just remembered something…”

“What is it, Lils?” Taylor said mid-bite

“I just remember, did you and Karlie ever get together after the MET?” the instant that Taylor heard that question she almost threw out the content of her mouth, that she instantly grab her glass of water to drink. “TAY!”

After drinking and putting back the empty glass in the table, Taylor put her right hand up to signal she’s good. “I’m just a little surprise over your question, like where is that even coming from?” she said with a slight chuckle and Lily just gave her slight eyebrow raise.

“Are we really acting that you two didn’t hit it off in New York?” this made Taylor laugh and Lily looked at the singer bewildered.

“Okay, we exchanged few words. Is that even counted as hitting it off?”

“Duh”

Taylor rolled her eyes once she heard Lily. “I’m serious…”

“I’m being serious too, Tay.” Lily said with a knowing smile before drinking in the glass of water.

“It didn’t led into anything, Lils. I mean she isn’t even available when you introduced us, and neither am I.”

“You were fooling around then, how can you even say that?” Lily laughed over the admission and Taylor just turned her eyes on her food while shaking her head over friends bluntness.

“You need to trust me, we didn’t get in touch after you introduced us because I am too caught up with a lot of things and you models are the same, but she’s really great company that night.” Taylor said in finality.

“Whatever you say, girl but you know what, you two are both my American friends and also you two are much more similar than you think so this coming rehearsal, I’m gonna make sure you two become friends at least.” Taylor just end up grimacing over what Lily said. She knew her friend just wanna get a lot out of her that’s why the model got challenge over this set up.


	4. THREE

Night of November 11, 2013

Taylor texted some of her friends, team and her mom to tell them that she arrived on her hotel in New York. It’s late and almost midnight but she didn’t feel like sleeping so she ended up opening her laptop and just scrolling through her private twitter account when her phone light up.

UNKNOWN NUMBER(11:11):See you tomorrow familiar stranger 😊

Once she saw the message her eyes almost bawled out from surprise and while she’s caught by it she ends up not knowing if she’s correctly guessing or it’s just assumption from a weeklong torture from Lily about her and a certain tall supermodel. She knew deep inside her she’s correct, so instead of answering she just close her laptop and put her phone down in the nightstand and laid on her back, staring at the hotel ceiling. 

The singer kept on staring at the ceiling when her phone light up again. She looks afraid and hesitant of getting it but before the light fades out she grabs her phone to check it.

UNKNOWN NUMBER(11:15): It’s Karlie Kloss btw, Lily gave me your number and she told me you just arrived in New York. I’m outside with Cara and Joan, wanna hang out? Some other girls are gonna come too.

Taylor (11:16): Good evening, Ms. Kloss. Isn’t it a little late to be out when you girls have rehearsals and fittings tomorrow?

Karlie Kloss (11:16): I know, I’ve been telling them but Cara’s answer for the impending jet lag is a night out. So you up for one? Or ms. America’s sweetheart too good for her to join us? 😜 

Taylor (11:16): Ok, I’ll bite, where are you girls? 

Karlie Kloss (11:17):Galway Hooker Bar in the West Village, I can send my chauffeur to pick you up, just tell me which hotel you are staying.

Taylor end up staring at her phone dumbfounded over the name of the bar. She instantly pull her laptop just to search what kind of bar she agreed to go to when her phone light up again.

Karlie Kloss (11:20): Don’t worry, this is a respectable establishment and not whatever bar you are overthinking right now. Cara booked a room the week before so just be here. She has couple of friends coming.

Taylor (11:21): You’re quite pushy, that’s new.

Karlie Kloss (11:21): Well, stranger, a bird told me you’re being recluse for the past few months, that I should coaxed you to come. So drink a little and maybe we can talk shit over the ex who made you a lil bit of a party pooper. 🍻😉

She can’t help but smile over the confidence that the tall model used on her. She’s used on meeting people who are so sure of themselves, others are just flat-out arrogant and egotistical but Karlie is always have been different, the younger girl is always have been a talker. She’s just confident on her words and assured on whatever she wants to tell you and once she’s not sure she will ask you.

Taylor (11:22):Ok, tell Lily she should stop messing with us, I’ll be there. I have my team arranged a rental, I can call one of my security to drive me.

Taylor called her head security to arranged the car and for them to head out for the bar while she’s rummaging her luggages for something to wear and slowly stripping off her clothes. She grab an off white fleece sweater and a short pinstriped skirt which she partnered with a black leggings. She’s trying several shoes before settling for a brown leather heeled boots when her security rung the bell on her door that she easily grabs her purse, key card, phone , and a green beanie before running for her door.

“Are you okay, Taylor?” Frank asked her when they were walking towards the parking lot underground.

“Yes, Frank, I’m just a little bit winded from getting ready.” she said with a smile then when her security opened the door of the heavily tinted escalade but before she stepped inside she held on his arm. “Can we please keep this night out between you and I.” she said with a weak smile. She knew Frank since her dad hired him for security, he used to work with his father and grandfather that he’s grown to trust him too.

“So, it’s one of those nights huh,” he said with a warm toothy smile, she just smile. “Alright kid, my mouth is shut.”  
“Thank you, Frank.” she finally climb in the car.

“Anytime, kid” and she heard the door close while she get seated properly and buckled herself in the backseat. 

Taylor (11:30): Be there in fifteen, is the place crowded? You know I’m not supposed to be seen by a lot of people in a bar.

Karlie Kloss (11:30): Meet me in the back, I can smuggle you upstair. 😉

She grinned over the message when she read it but as she quickly glance up, she saw Frank giving her a knowing smile. “I haven’t seen you smile like that for months, kid.” 

“It’s nothing, Frank.” Taylor said with a smile.

“Is it that midwest girl?” she quickly looked up with confusion written on her face while Frank just gave her a glance and remain focus on the road.

“umm, it’s the girls I’ll be working with this week, but I just don’t want anyone to know about this night out because I’m being hounded by everyone, you know Paula, James and Jack.” she is visibly ranting but she knew her head security is privy for the times they saw her lose her cool over her publicist, and even managers.

“It’s okay, kid. Just enjoy the night and I’ll be here in the shadow to protect you.” 

“uhm, I think you can go back Frank. I promise I’ll be careful, somebody’s meeting me in the backdoor so you don’t need to worry about people bothering me because we’ll be up in a private room.” Her security stared at her and just nodded when she told him her plans.

“Whatever you say, boss lady, but we’re here.” he finally said with a smile as he stop in the curb. She looked around but never saw the bar’s sign, she slipped her phone out of her purse again and starting texting Karlie.

Taylor (11:46): I’m here, meet me in the back?

Karlie Kloss (11:46): Already waiting for you, stranger. 😉

Taylor quickly slipped out of the car and walk with her head down while some New Yorker and drunk tourist is still loitering and walking the street, she’s startled when someone put her hands around her shoulders before draping an arm to walk side by side with her.

“Keep your head down and keep walking straight.” her back stiffen when she heard that sweet playful yet with a hint of hoarseness voice. Taylor looked up and saw a brunette who’s smiling but eyes are in front looking at something, she didn’t talk but she continued walking. The arm that was drape on her shoulder suddenly vanish and a door suddenly opening. She turned to her left and saw a smiling short hair cut brunette smiling at her while opening a door. “Go on, stranger… Lily just got up there.” Karlie is now full on giving her toothy smile while gesturing her to enter, she studied the model before passing her to go inside the bar.

“You’ve been busy…” Karlie started while she guides her around from people and ushering her towards the stairs. 

“What?” she’s clueless about what Karlie was saying.

“I said you’ve been busy, with career, I heard your latest album by the way, I love it!” Taylor felt her face feeling flushed over the compliment.

“Thank you, Karlie, I’m not the only one who’s been busy. I still love the hair.” The brunette just grin at her as she usher her to a room, and she instantly saw Lily.

“Lily!” Karlie called out loud and the other model quickly turn her head and her eyes lit up when she saw Taylor and Karlie approaching. 

“Oh my god! You did it!” Lily is laughing while looking at Karlie who looked a little bit smug but before she got to say anything, Lily is engulfing her with a tight hug. “I’m glad you’re here, Tay! I was just joking with Karlie about her texting you to ask you to come but she really did.” when Lily is done with the crushingly tight hug she went to the taller model brunette and hug her too. Taylor just end up looking at the two models, while she can also feel other eyes looking at her but she will herself not to look anywhere or else her anxiety will rise up.

“Wait we need to introduce her to a lot of people here.” Lily cut off the hug and stared at Taylor before grabbing her hand to lead her to other girls who are certainly just chatting and some were drinking. She look back at Karlie who’s just smiling at her and just nodded at her before mouthing talk later before moving to the bar. 

As Taylor is started to get introduced to some present models, she saw Cara who is clearly drunk already with Joan. 

“Taylor Swift!” Cara shouted loudly while kissing her in both cheeks and she felt like Cara’s gonna kiss her in the lips when Cara cups her face with both hands but Joan pulled back the British model that earned a laugh from the girls.

“Cara! Behave!” Lily said while laughing and Cara pouted and shimmied out of Joan grasp who is also giggling while hugging her.

“I’m happy to see you again, Taylor!” Joan said with a smile while laughing at Cara’s antics.

“It’s nice to see you too, is she high again?” she said with a small laugh and Lily and Joan smiles while Cara just smile at her.

“A lil’ bit Swift, jet lag is killing me so smoke a blunt. You wanna go try one?” 

“Okay, no. Behave Cara, why don’t you go to the couch and simmer down.” Lily said laughing.

They continue to chat up with different models and some are Cara’s friends who asked for her picture with them but she told them she really isn’t allowed to be seen publicly right now so she ask them if they can keep the photographs for themselves at first before agreeing for the photo ops. She’s been busy listening to the girls talk when someone slipped beside her.

“What do you want to drink?” Karlie whispered to her, she stared at the models around them but it seems like no one is paying attention to her because they are all engrossed with the conversation.

“um, surprise me?” she said with uncertainty. 

“Follow me to the bar and drinks will be ready.” Karlie said with a wink before leaving Taylor, the singer throat suddenly went parched and when she looked back to the table Lily is staring at her with cocked eyebrow and a smirk, she just shrugged and stood up to follow Karlie. 

Her heart is suddenly pounding as she walk to the stool but what caught her attention more is how she can freely stare at Karlie’s side profile, the taller model is wearing a simple tee and a brown leather jacket with dark jeans and sneaker with very light make up but even in that casual wear she looked heavenly that it pain her to look longer so she trained her eyes on the floor as they head to the bar. 

“What do you think of old fashioned?” Karlie slide the glass over to her side and she smile.

“Great choice.” She smiled while she sip the concocted liquid. “How are you?” she turned her head to look at Karlie but the brunette is already staring at her with the same bright smile. God, she really looks more gorgeous with short hair. Taylor turned her head to the bar.

“Nice of you to ask, Ms. Swift, I’m good, had a several days of rest before this so really just pretty good. How about you, it’s been a while.”

She smiled over the last remark and she nodded. “Yeah, been awhile. I’m touring now, new album came out for a while. Still the same busy life, you know.” her brief answer didn’t get unnoticed that the brunette grimace beside her.

“Awww, come on. We both know you’re really busy but what’s impourtant is what’s going on behind the veil. You know.” Karlie playfully bump her shoulder that she laughed.

“So like stranger?” she answered cheekily, finally turn her head and stared back, she suddenly feels how electric Karlie’s stare that she drink the old fashioned in one big gulp.

“Easy there, tiger. I don’t think we can pretend that we’re just stranger now. Just look at the face Lily is giving us.” Karlie nod at Lily’s direction while motioning a cheers using her old fashioned with a smile. 

“two shots of vodka please and a diet coke.” Taylor asked the barkeep sweetly before sliding the empty glass. “You’re really cute saying that but I prefer cats.” she said with a smile that earned a laugh out of Karlie.

“Well, it’s weird if I said that, but yeah, just like what we talked about…” Karlie stop talking while Taylor thank the bar keep who pour the two shot of vodka in separate shot-glass, with wedges of lemon, salt and the glass of diet coke.

“Familiar strangers” they said in unison and they ended up looking at each other and laugh.


	5. FOUR

November 12, 2013

“Yes,” Taylor smiled shyly as she took her another shot, and asked the barkeep for another shots. “Familiar stranger, why aren’t you drinking?”

“I’m buzzed, I’ve been here longer. I can’t get so drunk, final fitting and all and you shouldn’t too.” Karlie full body is turned to her while she’s still looking at the lines of alcohol in front of her when a slender fingers get a hold of one of her shot glass followed a wedge of lemon and pinch salt on her scaphoid. She turned to peer at Karlie with questioning look while she watch the younger girl drink the vodka ritually. She’s always been enchanted on the way the model move and it’s making her head swim, she’s never been a strong drinker. 

“What happened with staying just buzzed?” she said with a chuckle and Karlie just gave her a knowing smile. There is it again, that smile that she does as if she knew something I don't.

“You should know by now that I’m much more better in handling alcohol than you. Remember that time last fall when you were shooting and I am in for a fitting that we ended up drunk in a small pub in Paris.” Karlie smiled over a memory whilst she got a bit overwhelm and she grab the diet coke to drink.

“Um, let’s be honest you started young.” There’s that playful smile that played on Taylor’s lips but it quickly fade. “It’s more than a year.” she suddenly utter and Karlie just looked over her with a wistful smile.

“It’s been long, so really Taylor, How have you been, please be honest?” the model plead.

“You know I saw the teen vogue, congrats on the MTV show.” she still sidestepping over the model’s question.

“We both know that’s not what we should be talking about… I’m honestly curious what’s going on with you…”

“You really does not know?” there’s a hint of hurt from how Taylor said those words that stop Karlie from taking another shot.

“All I know is you’re broken up. I don’t press Lily, How can I when she doesn’t even know we pretty much has an arrangement of hanging out in passing.” This stop Taylor and there’s this sadness that lingers on the younger model, she kept this under wrap for years, she’s pretty sure the only person who knew that she and Karlie knew each other is the head of her security. 

“I know, I’m sorry… I know it’s weird but you knew the circumstances that I’m dealt with. I just don’t want that to happen to us. I don’t even like keeping you a secret Kar but I never have this kind of connection with anyone and I always end up spilling my guts with you and you’re just so-“

“I get it, Taylor. I’m your occasional therapist ever since we met that afternoon in the trail back in St.Louis while you were bawling your eyes out.” Karlie laugh over the memory.

“Okay, umm, now you are just being harsh. I don’t want to subject you with any of the mess from my PR team. We’re always been different, and yes you can call me a bit crazy but I love that I have something to rebel against them without them knowing. Monitoring a shit ton of everything in how I should run my life.” Karlie smiled over Taylor’s admission.

“You deserve so much better, Taylor.” She doesn’t know if its the amount of shots she took, or is it the way Karlie stared back at her that she caressed the younger brunette’s right cheek.

“You’re so gorgeous.”

“You’re drunk, let me fix the bill and you can crashed at my place. It’s just a walk from here. It’s impourtant to at least get you to sober up with the walk and water.” Karlie called the barkeep for checking out their tabs and giving him her credit card.

“You really have a funny way of speaking certain words.” This comment along with a laugh from Taylor earned a cocked eyebrow and a shaking of head from the model, the barkeep come back for them to give Karlie her card back along with a receipt.

“You are the one who have funny ears” Karlie retorts while she help Taylor up on her seat so they can slip out of the room.

“Aren’t you telling anyone were leaving?” Taylor’s body is flushed on Karlie side while looking up at the model.

‘I’ll text them, I don’t think you will like everyone to know were going home together once you are sober. Come on walk, you won’t like me if I carry you out of here.” Karlie said with a smug smile which made Taylor’s stomach flipped, and her mind is swirling. God, this isn’t the plan I had in mind. “Are you okay?” they finally slip in the back and her senses is hit back by the coldness and the bustle of New York once they step out.

Instead of replying, Taylor just cozy up on Karlie’s side while the model wrap her arm around the singer’s shoulder. 

“You know, one of this day, you need to admit you really love the height difference.” this earned a light elbow on Karlie’s rib and the model’s laughter erupted with her head thrown back.

****

They are walking for the past 7 minutes when Karlie stop in the side walk to look at Taylor, she separate herself with the blonde and stared at the singer which made the other girl uncomfortable.

“What?”

“Nothing, I wasn’t able to take in everything about you earlier and you keep on throwing yourself at me so I didn’t get the chance to look at you properly.” Karlie said with a smug smile, the singer laugh as she felt her cheeks heat up and before she can change her mind she grab the collar of the model’s jacket to pull her down for their lips to meet. In that instant, Taylor felt everything at once, everything is rushing back, this kind of hunger she can’t seem to tame whenever this contact happens. She’s never been one to be reckless but when it comes to Karlie she always felt this kind of pull. 

It feels like, it’s been building up for the years they pass each other, each sneaking around, going through walks whenever their path meet. As she continue to kiss the taller girl, she get bolder by asking entrance on the model’s mouth and when she’s granted access, her head swim over moments she shared with the younger model while getting lost in the sensation of their tongue meeting. When their lips parted, she’s the first to look at the brunette who’s eyes are still close, suddenly all the color in her face vanished, once remembering what fully happened. I kissed her.

“Shit” suddenly she felt like she’s too sober from what happened.

“Really?” Suddenly the singer attention went back to the model who’s voice is lace with anger and disbelief, before tugging her hands to enter the black gate.

“Oh my god! Karlie, I’m sorry. um, that went out the wrong way.” Taylor is profusely apologizing to the brunette who is opening her door. 

Once inside the brunette’s place, she notice how unsettled the brunette who went to her kitchen which led to leaving the singer alone in the living room. 

She ended up seating in the couch while internally panicking trying to grasp for solution on how to make up for her wrong outburst when all she really felt is ecstatic joy from feeling the most electric kiss she experienced to date.

The model went back with a glass of water for her and eyes darting to anywhere but her, once she accepted the glass from the model. “Once you’re done, follow me upstair, the room to your right. I can’t let you stay on the guest bedroom, Jour and Cara is crashing here or maybe just Jour, I think she’s in bed already, so be a mouse.” 

“Wait, Kar, can we talk…” the desperation coming out of her is pathetic but all she know is she need to fix this and the brunette just gave her a nod and continue walking up the stairs. She easily down the glass of water and put it down in the coffee table so she can follow the model upstairs. She spot the door that’s open and saw Karlie getting some clothes out for her and spare toothbrush, she locked the door then suddenly she feel like her throat is so constricted. 

This wasn’t the norm for the singer, she isn’t reckless enough to do it but when Karlie said those things earlier to her, she just loss it and just went with what she’s feeling. “I wanted to do that since I saw you earlier.” she quietly admitted, the model stop moving and went towards the balcony. 

“I’m getting the wine, grab the blanket and let’s talk in the balcony.” Karlie said quietly, while she walk past her towards the door, again leaving her with swirling of doubts over what’s she’s gonna say to the model.

Her mind flew back to moments, moments that defined her actions tonight. God, she didn’t even know if the younger girl is single, she clearly jumped the gun too early. She always have felt this serene belonging with Karlie, the late afternoon that she met the girl in St. Louis after running away from Jules crying. 

It’s mid February 2009, she forgot the date but she’s pretty sure they are both startled when she collided to someone and tumbling back on her behind. The tears never stopped coming and multiple curses and sorry’s can be heard and when she turned her tear stained face. She knew they were both shocked, she’s shocked to see someone in beanie with layers of clothing and tights running in this cold weather but what caught her eyes was the beauty marks on her cheek and the eyes. Green orbs so honest and raw in front of her, shocked clearly there but the most prominent part of those eyes were how concerned they were and grabbing her arms to help her stand.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking. Are you okay? I don’t know what happened but do I need to take you to the hospital. You are really crying hard.” She was bombarded with questions and she felt shy and vulnerable. Why did she even run away from Jules? 

“NO, I’m fine.” she knew how snappily and devoid she sounded but she usually feel guarded when she’s this vulnerable. It’s her defense mechanism kicking in and instead of getting shunned or treated with malice, the girl in front of her smiled and held her arms.

“Darling, you are not.” and the softness of those words and those green orbs just makes her sobbed louder. She was suddenly enveloped with a hug, her face tucked towards the brunette’s neck as she sobbed. Once she calmed down and sobbed turned into sniffles, the brunette grab her left arms and they walked towards the trees; totally getting out of the trail. “You don’t seem to remember me, but we’ve met in Young Hollywood Awards last year, we were introduced by Andrew.” the other girl started and suddenly recognition totally sinks in. 

“O god! You’re the model, Karlie. Can you keep this a secret?” the younger girl nodded she isn’t sure if the nod is about keeping it a secret or nodding cause she finally remember the younger girl but before she can explain further suddenly her surrounding was much more clearer, the trees their passing was gone and she’s welcomed by a river.

Her reminiscing the first time they really connect is abruptly cut when Karlie came out with a bottle of wine and glass. The taller girl seat beside her quietly while she popped the cork out and letting the wine breathe. 

“I’ve always been honest with us Taylor.” there’s that sadness that she wanted to wipe out so bad.

“Where’s my glass?” confusion catching up on her as she saw that the model just brought one.

“You’re not gonna drink, I need this more.” there’s cold bluntness in them and Taylor felt like sinking away. She isn’t used to this kind of Karlie, and she’s suddenly feeling so bad about the way this night turned out. Way early to fuck this up, Tay. she muttered under her breath. She grab the wine bottle and stared bravely at the model who looks confused as she drink out of the bottle.

“You’re not supposed to be hangover later, Karlie.” she easily flared up, her temper this days are easily trigger that she ended up snarling those words to the model who looked at her with sympathetic eyes. 

“I wasn’t thinking, okay” she said boldly, the emanating heat from Karlie and the heat of alcohol coursing through her vein is not enough in the sudden coldness she’s feeling while trying to voice out her feelings. “Don’t look at me like that.” she snapped again, she hated how Karlie stared at her when she’s this vulnerable, it’s so honest, innocent, and something she don’t think she deserves. 

Her comment made the taller brunette peer down to her glasses. “God, this is frustrating. We have our thing, it’s the kind of safety blanket I had ever since our path met. Why does I need to complicate that, I’m really sorry Kar. I was so caught up with the flirting, the usual back and forth added the amount of alcohol I’ve consumed. I’m so nervous, seeing you again, the way you always look, your gorgeous face, body to die for. I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m still not okay, I mean you were asking me about Dianna and I can’t even begin to explain it. I’m not, not you, you aren’t a rebound Kar.” when she’s finished Karlie’s arm is around her, spooning her; soothing her, chasing the cold away and letting the warmth seeped through her.

“You don’t have to think hard about this, Tay. If I didn’t want it to happen, I can always overpower you to push you away.” when she looked up Karlie is staring absentmindedly over the building being rebuilt in front of them.

“God, I know.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it like the last time, we can stop talking about it, Tay.” There it was again, that kind of concern and kindness that the younger girl always give to her. “And for whatever is worth, I don’t mind the kiss we shared or in whatever this might lead to. I’ve made it pretty obvious to you that I liked you since we met in Paris last year but I know you are always gonna think about not subjecting me to signing a lot of things if we’re publicly linked together especially now. I’m an adult, Tay. I can always handle my own, I can help you protect whatever you want from me. If dating or just pure friendship. I can handle that.”

“You’re too good to me, Kloss” her voice soft, the fight is all gone, it’s the tiredness catching up on her, her eyes drooping. 

“Like I said, you deserved better, Taylor.” there’s that sighed, then the model shuffled behind her, grab the wine bottle out of her hand and put it in the table before she can protest Karlie is out of the chair and she’s been picked up along with the blanket. 

“Karlie!”

“Don’t fight, I’m taking you to bed.”

“I can walk” 

“I wanna do this, so don’t argue. Lemme take care of you for the night.” The singer chucked up whatever retort she’s thinking once she saw how serious and concentrated the model face.

Once Karlie put the singer down in bed, the taller girl easily grabs the sleeping clothes in the side of the bed. Taylor taking off her clothes while Karlie looks so methodical helping her dress up, it’s like the younger girl isn’t even paying attention on the bare skin being revealed.

“I’m gonna get my make up remover pouch in the bathroom. Change your clothes, kay?” she nodded, feeling exhausted from the highs and lows of her night. She ended up playing with the comforter while waiting for Karlie and when the taller girl emerged with facial wipes, she tends to push herself up.

“Lie down, like I said, you need to relax and let me do it. Sleep this off. You look so exhausted Tay.” Karlie is busy wiping the make up out of her face and Taylor is being lulled into sleep with the soft touches and the voice of Karlie not making sense to her anymore.


	6. FIVE

**THE MORNING 9am November 12, 2013**

Taylor woke up in a shrill tone of an alarm she’s not used in hearing and when she turned to her right to turn it off. Her hand met her purse, she groaned loudly and there’s pounding in her head. 

“Fuck off” she loudly cursed and slowly open her eyes, which is hurting knowing she ended up sleeping with her contacts on. She finally realized she isn’t in her hotel room once she looked around and saw the picture frame beside her. “Shit” The constant shrilling of the alarmed made it so much worse for her that when she turned to her left and saw the digital clock in the nightstand, relief is clear on her face as she turned it off. 

Once she returned the digital clock on the nightstand, her eyes caught a letter beside it.

_Good morning, I didn’t wake you up when I went up here. I called and asked them if you are needed as early as our call time but it turns out you’re just needed in the rehearsal which will start this after lunch. So rest and there’s water and tylenol in the other side. drink it. There’s extra breakfast in the refrigerator, you can heatit up in the microwave and when you leave, just lock the door. Don’t leave without eating, and the spare toothbrush is in the dresser to your front. You need proper food. See you later, stranger._

_KK xoxo_

She turned to her right and saw a glass and a bottle of tylenol. She drank the water along with the medicine then proceeded on fixing the bed before getting loss in the bathroom while holding the spare toothbrush that Karlie set out for her.

Once she is done and refreshed she started observing all the photos and nicknacks that Karlie have displayed on her home. There’s something so heart warming and heart wrenching about seeing the model’s place. It’s seeing proof of how wonderful the brunette is with the plethora of pictures that are on displayed and heartbreaking for her because all of Karlie from modelling, entertainment, fashion industry to her family and friends in St. Louis are fully scattered around yet she knew the model for years but they never have this kind of token to preserve their shared moments. Just a constant reminder in her mind that they knew each other for a long time. 

The singer went to the kitchen and saw the scattered polaroids plastered around the refrigerator. There’s one photo that caught her attention, a very intimate picture of Karlie kissing a blonde girl near the lips while hugging the other woman from the back. She stared at the photograph for the longest time before yanking the refrigerator open to get the prepared food that Karlie left for her.

She felt like a petulant child now that her eyes are much more focused on every pictures that Karlie has on display, she knew what’s bubbling in the pit of her stomach. Seeing the model be all over with different womenand vice versa in some of the photographs is awakening something akin to a deep-seethed jealousy and halfway through her food, she doesn’t have the appetite to even finish it. She decided to just threw the food and wash the dishes. 

She knew she doesn’t have the right but it is so much different when you just heard things and actually seeing it with your own eyes. She tried to shake the feelings out of her mind when she decided to went up to gather her things. 

Her phone is blowing up once she decided to open her purse, she instantly answer the call which is coming from her publicist. 

“Hello”

“Thank God, you finally answer, Taylor. Where are you? Frank have been dialling your phone for an hour and the HMUand your stylist are already in your room. What the hell is going on? Where did you slipped into again? Please don’t tell me-” Taylor is just listening on the bombarded questions coming from Paula but before the publicist can continue to barrage her with everything she quickly cut her off.

“I’m going back, I’m just gonna call you again… bye” she knew how rude she is being but she just can’t stomach anymore of Paula’s interrogation about her whereabouts that she dialled her head of security number.

“Hey, Frank. Can you pick me up, I’m texting you the address. it’s along Charles St. near the bar you drop me off. Just don’t tell them anything, please. Hurry.” 

She let out a loud sigh and she sit on the edge of the bed when her phone buzzed and seeing Karlie’s name she immediately open it.

**Karlie Kloss(9:40):** Please tell me you’re awake…

She smiled uponreading Karlie’s message.

**Taylor(9:40):** I am, just waiting for a car ride back in the hotel. I hope you don’t mind me exploring around your place. 

**Karlie Kloss (9:41):** No, feel at home. Watch television,rummage my cabinets. I don’t mind.  😂

**Taylor (9:41):** What’s going on there? I’m good with my phone and I already looked around, I love all the photographs and stacks of polaroid in the kitchen counter and your key chain collections.

**Karlie Kloss (9:41):** Just finished fitting two outfits, will practice with the walking later. Oh, thanks I kinda hoard things and snaps a lot of photos when I’m away. So sorry for the clutter.

**Taylor (9:42):** Nooo, It’s totally you, Can I see it? 

**Karlie Kloss (9:42):** Tomorrow, or later, be patient! Aren’t your glam team supposed to be in your hotel room? 

**Taylor (9:42):** Yup, I’m on my way back… Frank’s near here anyway. I’m gonna close up. Talk to you later!

The singer didn’t bother changing her clothes once she looked over the street and it’s pretty empty. In a short period of time she ended up receiving a message from Frank saying he’s outside. She went out on a little bit loose PJ’s that Kar lent her this early morning, she’s greeted with a very stressed Frank that made her brow to shoot up questioningly.

“What happened?” Taylor is looking at Frank when he opened the door for her.

“I’m sorry, kid. She insisted on coming.” She’s a bit confused but once she looked at the opened door all, she felt all the colour on her face suddenly vanished as she laid her eyes on her publicist.

“Get in, Taylor.” Paula said coldly, she just silently cursed to herself as she went in, once she’s seated her publicist started talking. “Do I need to prepare the NDA for Karlie Kloss? Is this a one time thing or you two are having a relationship?” the following comment make Taylor blood boil that she turned to her publicist with eyes wild.

“No! I just crashed on her place along with several model friends. FOR FUCK SAKES PAULA, WE’RE NOT SLEEPING TOGETHER. NOT ALL WOMEN I MET MEANS I’M SLEEPING WITH THEM!” her outburst didn’t fazed Paula, she just looked at her with stern look before starting typing in her phone. 

“Well, my job is to make sure that your image isn’t derailed by scandal like that. You know how this is looked upon back home. So, does she know about your sexual preference? Because she needs to sign too.”

“Paula please, My head is still pounding… just let me rest.” she looked at the mirror and saw Frank giving her a sorry look before she close her eyes.

“Well, if you didn’t went out and just rest maybe-“

“Whatever I do on my free time is mine, you do know that right?” and I have time, I’m expected at the rehearsal by after lunch, I know my fucking schedule.”

“I already moved your rehearsal to a few hours so that you can rehearse with FOB, you’re needed in several radio interview, first, VS agreed and the blocking will be practiced by someone in your stand in, and your mom is coming in later.” She grunted when she heard Paula, she knew that this is Paula’s way of fucking over her because she didn’t followthrough from the schedule she gave her but she’s still tired and resigned to argue over the last minute changes. 

****

The whirlwind that she was tossed into when she arrived at her room is too much that she forgot to give Karlie or even Lily the heads up that she won’t be able to rehearse with them immediately that when she got back to the hotel it’s already past nine and her assistant, Louie, is holding her phone the entire time, but before she can ask for her phone. The door of her hotel room opened and she saw her mom entered.

There’s a relief on her face once she saw her mother again, and she went up and hug her, they have been talking in great length months before regarding her situation in her own team. And after what Paula pulled on her she’s determine to have a consensus with her mom regarding changing her PR person. 

“Mom!” her voice is a bit constrained and instantly the older woman knew that her daughter is not feeling good so she turned around in all the scrambling people inside the room and slowly making her presence stop several people getting in and out of the room. 

“You guys, can go. Leave the clutter. I can finish fixing it.” Andrea said with authority, the people around them nodded and get out of the way. Louie is the last one who went out who gave back the purse she’s been holding the entire day which contain the singer’s phones. Taylor smiled weakly over the meek assistant. 

“What’s going on, sweetheart?” Andrea asked while the old woman led her towards the settee while discarding tons of paper bags and placing the bouquets of flowers she received from her interviews to the center table. 

“Do you remember the time I got home after the met gala that 2011?” There’s nervousness on the singer’s voice that Andrea recognized. 

“The one you said was an interesting night but you never elaborate, why?” when Taylor looked up, warmth smile coming from her mother is reflected. “Then the next day you ditch me for breakfast and I’m close to calling the police but Frank intervened.” Taylor sheepishly smiled but nodded.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure you knew I’m keeping something from you that day but you never said anything about it… why?” Taylor asked curiously.

“Well, my darling girl, when your daughter goes through so much and you finally see her having a great time. Will you scold her about that. You came home late afternoon and your face is beaming. How do I stay mad at that and when I asked, you just said you had a great time with a friend, you never seem like you wanted to elaborate so I just let it.” 

Taylor busy fiddling with her bracelet that she didn’t saw her mother studying her. “Why are you bringing this up? I always thought that breakfast you had was with Dianna.” Taylor flinched when she heard the name, she breathe deeply before looking at her mom’s eyes.

“No, I wasn’t meeting Dianna back then, yes we texted and talk a lot but I wasn’t with her that day, I was with Karlie...” there’s confusion over her mother’s face and Taylor wish there’s another way to go through this. 

“Oh. I don’t know her personally but she’s, I suppose a lovely company if you went home with that kind of happiness after.” she can’t help but blushed over her mother’s sentiments. 

“You met her earlier, super tall brunette with short hair and the one who gave us cookies” which reminded Andrea of what Louie and her munched while watching her daughter's rehearsal. “I mean she’s super awesome in her job and we’ve became fast friends but we’ve never really bond over the glamour life. We’re just comfortable talking about life, her being an occasional adviser over my messy relationship, so I wasn’t, she wasn’t someone I wanted to be exposed to this. To how cruel my reality is so I just kept it at that, but I don’t think I can continue those things anymore because she’s one of a Victoria Secret Angels.” 

Andrea saw how her daughter tried to mask how painful it is for her to talk about this, they have been through with Taylor keeping everything inside and just managing to do it alone and seeing how vulnerably scared her mostly put together daughter, breaks her heart. She knew her daughter is keeping something big when she arrived after one of her radio show and while her daughter was preparing for the rehearsal, she knew how nervous the blonde is behaving but she shrugged it aside that it was just performing and not knowing that there’s a lot more that is happening without her knowledge. 

Taylor loses it and her tears started pouring down between loud sobs, “Then Paula threw shit like, Karlie need to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement, or did I slept with her when-“ her mom side hugged her, and tried to calm her down. “I don’t think I can do it with Paula anymore. After the mess that happened with Dianna. I don’t think Paula and I were still seeing eye to eye and I hate to be the one to end this but I just can’t mom. And I’m terrified, you know how good relationship with publicist is important for every artists but-” Taylor pleads, unable to continue.

“Remember the ginger head we met back in Nashville months ago, how you two calmly joked and talk business? We’ve met her several times and she joked about dropping everything to handle your brand while she’s signing the NDA that you brought?” Taylor looked so confused but she untangled herself from her mother.

“Tree?” 

“Yes, Tree Paine. Why don’t you call her? You still have her number, right? Get to know her and try to pitch that.” 

“But dad?”

“Well, you know I won’t tell him, just test the water, Teff. Just test the water. I’m always gonna support you and your decisions and you know how much I won’t question these as long as you tell me your reasons and you just did today.” Taylor hugged her mom, she knew she’s afraid to do this due to repercussion on her career and she knew that this is what’s more important to her than anything else, that’s why she does a lot to get along and smile through all the bullshit. 

They went to dinner and talk more and occasionally answered Karlie’s text who is disappointed that she wasn’t able to come and join the girls after rehearsal. She just promised that they will hang out again tomorrow. She went late to bed because she ended up bringing her mom into the fold on how she met Karlie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, I'm having a headache but here we go. I don't know what to say to this chapter but the next one is close to my favorite and I'm having a long time writing that part. It takes months and I haven't finish it yet, like I'm done writing 3/4 of the whole chapter, so I really don't know when's the next one coming. Stay tune tho.

**Author's Note:**

> When I have the drafts here for months... I'm such a dumbass not knowing that AO3 deletes drafts, good thing I saved it on my laptop. Also I published this on wattpad for those who like to read there.


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